I genuinely believe that everyone should be allowed to have a tree house and a tree to themselves when people and life become overwhelming.
I have 3 people in my life that I tell different kinds of intimate thoughts to based on each person. I am lucky to have them, and I know they will be the people that are going to stay with me for the rest of my life. Its a gift and even if I am ungrateful at times I will always love them.
The thing is, even when you have your people, the people who will do anything for you sometimes it is still difficult to share everything and every faucet of your life with them. There will always be a part of me that I don’t think I will ever reveal to anyone and I believe this is the same for everyone else. In short, its not enough. Feelings stay and even though time will fade the worries and pain away, it is in this moment that I need to share it with another person to feel less weary. I don’t want to explain myself because that is tiring and I don’t want to feel judged because that will bring up my insecurities.
It is in times like these when I have to believe in a greater force out there to be my tree house for awhile.I have been praying a lot these few days. Its the only thing that’s been getting the shit out of my system so I can sleep with a clearer mind at night. I still don’t know how I feel about the whole religion thing and to be honest I think there will always be a part of me inside that will believe in Christianity with all my experiences as a child at church despite all my current skepticism.
That I can only hope with maturity that I may come to a decision in the future. As of now, sharing my inner demons to an unknown entity is really as good as it is going to get and if it works then why not right.
Yes I do realise I may as well talk to my table lamp if all I need is just a non-human thing to talk to. The divine factor just works better with me. Also, I’m not psycho.
