There has been a lot going on since the last time I wrote in here and I don’t really know where to start.
Breaking up with Clarence was very painful. He was what I wanted- an innocence and optimism but more importantly when I was with him I believed in things that I no longer believed in, and to have everything turn on you like that it was more than just a broken heart that he took away with. Looking back at it all now, perhaps I needed to kill my cynicism and he walked into my life as a seemingly perfect opportunity. I loved him but perhaps what I really love more than him was the chance to fix myself.
Secondly, I have gone back to Church. A friend invited me for Christmas service and for some reason the sermons made me tear uncontrollably. I am still finding my ground in Christianity but as of now, to have something to hold on to for support is enough, and church is that for me.
Thirdly- I made a great milestone by doing my first contemporary dance concert after almost 5 years of my dance life. I made friends with a different world of dancers and contemporary dancers are so nice that it slightly shocked me because it is all genuine. I am used to street dancers and their ways that in the process I got used to it and didn’t even realise I had cynicism sealed all around me like cling wrap. It kind of make you want to be a better person and change.
I feel like I am on a journey but I don’t know its destination, but as of now life is enough, and I am still grateful for everything that has happened to me.
